Ranking Essays

A for Alfi
Thesis: Answers the prompt, but still incredibly vague
Structure: Is there really ANY structure? Completely loses focus between topics and loses its flow. Distracts the reader and didn't draw me in.
Evidence: Not strong, seems to just be put in with no connected to what he is trying to prove. Where's the analysis?
Analysis: Because quotes were so obscure, the analysis was weak and irrelevant
Sources: Needs to analyze the book more, find quotes that really prove your point and allow you to drive it home
Style: Incredibly informal, need to see more of a college written essay!

B for Beatrice
Thesis: I feel like the thesis is just kind of stuck into the paragraph. Needs more information to let the thesis flow better and give the reader a sense of exactly what you are talking about
Structure: Better structure than A, but still a little disorganized. I wish the writer found similar aspects of the authors and used those aspects as paragraphs instead of the typical Author A, Author B, Compare and Contrast format of an essay
Evidence: Good quotes, relate to the topic
Analysis: A little weak... with mildly strong quotes you definitely need to analyze them heavier to get your point across
Sources: Cited correctly and used quotes from both authors
Style: I feel that the writer used too many big words and it distracted me from the direction the sentence was going. Although the formality was nice, maybe tone it down a bit.

C for Cecelia
Thesis: Very strong thesis, worded greatly with a nice lead in to set it up
Structure: Good links between each point. Nothing came up out of the blue, everything flowed nicely
Evidence: Great quotes, relayed directly to her point
Analysis: Showed exactly how the evidence applied to her point. In depth and well thought out
Sources: Cited correctly
Style: Flowed. It was easy for me to read and not overly sophisticated